If you have come here, then you are
interested in who I 'really' am!
Well, where do I start?
I begin by stating the REASON for what I am about to tell about myself & that is:
IF THERE IS ONE HURTING SOUL OUT THERE, WHO IS WEEPING or UNDER GREAT DEPRESSION or CANNOT FORGIVE THEMSELVES or THINKS (or HAS BEEN DECEIVED BY SATAN INTO THINKING) THEY HAVE 'GONE TOO FAR' & GOD CAN NEVER 'USE' THEM FOR HIS GLORY BECAUSE OF THEIR 'PAST' or BECAUSE THEY ARE CRIPPLED -or- IF EVEN ONE PERSON FEELS GOD DOESN'T 'LOVE' THEM LIKE HE DOES 'OTHERS'
{FOR I HAVE FELT THIS WAY IN THE PAST} THEN WHAT I TELL YOU HERE WILL BE WORTH THAT ONE SOUL-
'COMING' OR 'RETURNING' TO JESUS CHRIST!
Please don't get me wrong & think it's all right to go on 'blatantly' sinnning against Him, for He knows our 'heart attitude'! Nor can we continually use our past as an 'excuse' to sin either. He very well knows our upbringing & the very reasons why we do what we do - that is why He is so 'patient' with us! BUT the time comes for us to 'forsake' self-pity, start 'obeying' & 'leaning
very heavily upon HIM' to help us 'overcome' what HE shows us is wrong in our lives. As Joyce Meyer says, we must 'REPENT' yet 'keep our Robe of Righteousness' ON, so Satan can't beat us up over our sins. {Something else I used to do to myself}.
We are FREE, but NOT free to 'practice' SIN.
Our lives truly begin when we 'surrender' to Jesus - 'Repent' of our sins {with Jesus' help} - & 'commit' our lives {over & over & over again} to Christ. It is a 'daily' commitment & sometimes a minute by minute 'commitment' to Christ.
Each poem The Lord has given me is a 'piece' of my 'life' where CHRIST has either: OPERATED & CUT FROM ME MUCH 'DROSS' or BROUGHT 'LASTING' PEACE, JOY, COMFORT, CONTENTMENT, HEALING, DISCIPLINE & LOVE to my very HEART, SOUL & SPIRIT.
I URGE & ENCOURAGE YOU TO 'READ THE SCRIPTURES' THAT GO ALONG WITH SOME OF THE POEMS FOR THEY WILL~DEEPEN 'YOUR' LOVE FOR OUR SAVIOR & FRIEND
~JESUS CHRIST~
***
WHEN 'BAD' THINGS HAPPEN TO 'GOOD' {?} PEOPLE -
--- YES GOD CARES! ---
Born - 1940 - the beginning of a lifetime of 'struggles' & 'overcoming' & ONE DAY 'realizing' that God kept me alive - for 'HIS GLORY' ~ alone!
Now, why do I say that? Because I was what they called a 'blue-baby', the doctor who delivered me (according to my father) was either drunk or on drugs & when he had to use 'forceps' to deliver me, they slipped & hit me three places in my head. My Dad was home at the time (Praise the Lord) & kept breathing into my mouth, squeezing me like an/accordian & dipping me into cold water to keep me from dying. Now the doctor didn't expect me to live, so he didn't put the required eye drops in my eyes until he came back a week later (surprised to see me alive).
:) BUT GOD! :)
The 'forceps' hit me: Above my left eye, which didn't open for the first year; on the back of my neck, apparently deadening the nerves & drawing up my muscles on my right side; and it went into the 'hole' on the top of my skull (the soft spot) & when I had a 'kat scan' in 1982, they found a 'scar' on my brain from where it had hit. My Dad said he had to work on me very intensly for the first 3 days, but it took a week before I 'stayed breathing' on my own.
Now, before you think that I am a 'helpless' cripple, I am not! I was five years old before I could walk without falling down all the time, & with lots of 'work' & The Lord leading me to a doctor (MD/DO) as a child who told 'everyone' {including my younger brother } to slap my right arm down if they caught me carrying it across my stomach. I had to carry 'heavy objects' in my right hand, forcing my arm to straighten out (yet not completely) & with 'much' pulling & stretching exercises, my body became stronger
& more 'usable'.
I had to take 'piano lessons' to make my right 'hand' more useful &, over the years, have trained the other side of my brain to make my right hand 'not' close up on me in emergencies. You see, I could never shake hands with people with my right hand, as I would get nervous & it would close up either 'before' or, even worse, 'after' I took hold of their hand & was embarrassed that I could not let go of it! :) :) I also have no 'feeling' on my right side & don't know [until it's too late] that I've gotten ahold of a 'HOT' pan & can't let go of it {been burned several times that way}. {Am also a 'self-taught' typist, using only 2 fingers on my right hand ~can type 40wpm~ Praise The Lord!}
Unlike David Ring, my Cerebral Palsy does not affect me like his does. The difference being I did not suffer 'long' periods of lack of oxygen to my brain. Therefore, I do not shake, nor was my speech impaired & my 'gait' is somewhat more steady when I walk. (Although, after I fell in '95 & fractured my spine, it has gotten worse).
Now, when I was 13 years old, we {my Dad & step-mom #1 along with her brother & his new wife & her daughter} drove to Maine for a vacation & to visit family up there. A SECOND MIRACLE I AM ALIVE - for while I was there, I nearly drowned! I could not swim [never rode a 2-wheel bike either :)] & was told not to go past this 'rock' as there was a 'dropoff ' there. Well, we were playing around (at the rock, no less) & I slipped 'past' the rock. Needless to say, there WAS that dropoff! I began to swim [the 'one & only time'] & my Dad came after me. He said it was a good thing I was swimming 'towards' him, or he would have never been able to get me.
:) BUT GOD! :)
Please note~I was also 13 when I gave my 'heart' to JESUS!
Life went on & so did my 'rebellion' - oh, I loved the Lord & read the Bible through 'several' times & went to church {when I was able}, but then I just 'drifted away' from church, doing 'my own thing'. Flunked out of College my first year, met this guy, got pregnant ~then we married~ & had 3 beautiful children {A 3RD MIRACLE I'M ALIVE - as I nearly died carrying my 3rd child}. BUT - he cheated on me our entire marriage (almost 14 years). THE ONLY 'GOOD' THINGS RESULTING~I CAME BACKTO THE LORD THROUGH IT ALL & ~OUR 3 CHILDREN!~Now, before you shoot me down, I ONLY tell about my (real) self so that OTHERS WHO THINK THEY HAVE 'SINNED BEYOND GOD'S GRACE' ~ CAN KNOW ~ BEYOND A 'SHADOW OF A DOUBT' THAT
---THEY HAVE NOT! ---
BELIEVE ME, I KNOW! {But 'by the Grace of God' go I}
Over those years, after I did return to the Lord, my longing & prayer was for him to give his life to Christ, but he always thought he had to 'straighten up his act' BEFORE he got saved (which you don't) & apparently he didn't want to give up his 'life-style', for he had yet to surrender his life to Jesus {THANK YOU for praying for him!} Oh, I finally had to divorce him because he had been living with another woman [& me] 12 of those nearly 14 years, but I never gave up praying for hisSOUL ~ ** (SEE NOTE BELOW)!
FINISHED raising 3 kids {another story in itself} - working at a job (office) - divorced nearly 8 years - 'GROWING UP' SPIRITUALLY - now a 'Mother-in-law' & 'Grandma' - I met my PRESENT HUSBAND, also divorced (on 'scriptural' grounds). So now I become a 'Step-mother' to 3 more beautiful children {& yet another story}!{Had to quit work in '85 because of ill health, hubby's job closed its doors 6 mos. later & we lived on an unemployment check for 6 months - & lo & behold, the week before his unemployment check ran out, he got a job! ISN'T THE LORD 'GOOD'? When you have been faithful to put Him 1st in your Tithes & Offerings! Learned MANY lessons during that time, {BOTH of us!}
After being married over 20 years to Jeff, having 14surgeries &1 MORE MIRACLE nearly losing my life~ I had a huge goiter growing 'behind' my chest wall, wrapping itself around my esophagus & windpipe slowly choking me to death before they operated on me for a tumor & discovered it - as X-rays did not show it ~
I AM NOW - a 'GRANDMA' & Great Grandma {in 2004} TO:
18 'LIVING' BEAUTIFUL GRANDCHILDREN {2009}!
{CLICK ON GRANDCHILDREN above TO SEE 'new baby' PICTURES!}
Ryan {was nearly 4} resides with JESUS & awaits our arrival!
In 1993 THE LORD gave me 'A Love Letter to JESUS' Poem {click on link}. Then another small Poem in 5/94. And in 6/94 He opened my eyes to see HIM in a 'new' way. But then, after several tragedies in the family (all 3 of my children involved + they had just told me I had Sjogren's disease) the Lord began to give me 'gobs' of Poems. The only stipulation was that I HAD to write them down RIGHT THEN (even if it was the middle of the night) or else I couldn't remember them later on - - -
'DISCIPLINE' & 'TESTING' TO SEE IF I REALLY WANTED TO DO THIS OR NOT!
AND SO BEGAN THE WRITING OF THE POEMS YOU SEE NOW! I HAVE COMPLETED 9 {copyrighted/& Published} BOOKS, (over 1000 Poems so far) & I just learned how to use the Computer in Oct/99, thanks to my Step-brother-in-law (Chuck <click on his name) who provided me with a computer & 'stuff' to work with![TO GOD BE THE GLORY! AMEN!]
BOTH my Dad & Step-dad died in 1999 & we moved to where my Dad lived {so I wouldn't have to climb steps anymore} & this is where I began to learn how to use the Computer. I have fallen here twice now, & broke my hip the 2nd time, after having a Total left Knee replacement on 9/11/01. He keeps me moving & able to do what HE wants me to do. Now, in 2007, I 'live' in a wheelchair, yet able to do dishes & the washing. :)My 2nd Step-mom [Judy] went to be with Jesus 2/11/01.
Please PRAY for Family members who have 'No Hope' that ONE DAY
we will be with our Loved ones again if we are Trusting JESUS as our Savior.
Thank you for your prayers for the families!
** My ex-husband died July 2004 & my Prayers for him were answered in that he gave his heart to Jesus on his death bed! AMEN! All of us do not get that chance & it is better if we do this early in life, but I am so THANKFUL for GOD'S 'AMAZING' GRACE!
I trust you have 'learned' from my experiences of life that:
JESUS 'REALLY DOES' LOVE YOU!
GOD 'BLESS' YOU!
